so, last sunday was the first sunday i had to endure without bryan (he is currently at training and will be off for sure in november)... it was very difficult... to say the least. i think it started poorly because i had to be at church early (a whole hour early) to set up chairs for ward conference and to practice for the song i was singing in sacrament meeting (not alone, i assure you... there was a group of sisters singing together)... so, jack was very much out of sorts... i think we lasted about 10 minutes in sacrament meeting before i had to take him out... that's right, we didn't even make it to the sacrament. i was a little bit worried since i was singing, but i asked emily (the babysitter... among other things) to sit with the girls if i had to leave and she said she would come out to watch jack while i sang. bless her... so, i tried to head back to our pew as bishop allen was speaking, hoping that jack would permit us to sit before we sang, but no... as we are walking to our row, and jack sees the pew, he starts thrashing... really there is no other word for it. thrashing. so, i grab my music and head back out into the foyer without even sitting down. as bishop allen is concluding, emily comes out to hang with jack while i sing. when done singing, i head back out into the foyer. i think at this point i am just about done... literally... as i try to hold back the tears that are about to surface, i imagine the next year of sacrament meetings and can't hold them back any longer. after shedding a few tears, i realize that i will probably spend the next year of sacrament meetings in the hall (or classroom equipped with the speakers to hear what actually happens in sacrament meeting). as soon as i have realized that this may be what my life will be like... with a few good sundays thrown in... i am fine with it all. there's nothing like lowering your expectations to make life easier...
with the following pictures in my mind, i resolve to have good sacrament meeting experiences... and with increased patience and love, i believe i can. these pictures were taken a couple of weeks ago when i finally let the girls wear their pettiskirts to church. they loved them... these pictures bring so much joy to my heart... these pictures capture a time when i know they are happy and happy to be part of our family... and this is what will get me through the next year.
oh, and for anyone still wondering... yes, jack does still suck his thumb... as documented below.
so maybe you are wondering how today went... fabulous... i think by expecting the worse, there was really no place to go but up. i don't think i can say how grateful i am for such a loving and caring ward. jack was good, and we got through the first few minutes of church without any incidents... and just when he started to get restless, sweet brother thompson reached his hands over the pew and offered to hold jack. of course jack went right away, and sat with brother thompson (peacefully, on his lap) for a good 30 - 45 minutes. there is something about brother thompson that jack loves... he can calm him and sit with him. honestly, i cried during the sacrament as i thought about how grateful i was for him and for all of the support of ward provides for those with husbands away.
after this experience, i know that i will be fine here. i know that there are those willing to help me and i appreciate it so much. i love my ward.
